How to live with a bisexual woman.


She is absolutely charming (pregnant pause).

Let’s explore the world of the bisexual woman.
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She has many enemies this one, she is like the bat we say, she is neither here nor there. She is the type of woman who annoys people without meaning to.

I will tell you why.

Maybe I should start with some figures. Can’t remember where I read this but it’s out there in the interwebs. 50% of the population is exclusively heterosexual throughout it’s adult life, 4% of the population is exclusively homosexual throughout it’s life, and you wonder where is the rest of the 46%, alas and alack, the bisexuals! Now, I don’t quite believe that homosexuals are a measly 4%. Fuck no. I am not one to represent data with pie charts and graphs; honestly, I wouldn’t know maths/math? even if it hit me smack dead in the middle of the face but guess what, I know like one thousand gay people (okay maybe I am lying) but seriously, 4%? Who are these people who conduct these researches, because really, they need to switch careers.

You should probably bookmark the paragraph above because it the closest you will ever get to figures in this blog.

I get sidetracked. Moving on, Biphobia is real as measles is real, and twice as bad. It is the elephant in the gay and heterosexual room. Gay women in the room pretend they are okay with it but they just want to punch the bisexual women in their face. We think these women have multiple personalities, or two-faced or she might turn into a bee or some alien and suck the blood out of our peaches at night. We think we are ‘holier’ than them. We think we look like god and talk like jehovah.


We have very daft little heads.


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With homophobia, it’s a case of dealing with the ‘outside world’. The people practising conventional sex and the church people and all the other people in this planet. These ones we can live with, in fact we have mastered the art so well. We live our happy gay lives like these people don’t exist and yeah, go we.


But what happens when the enemy is on the outside and in the inside. Where do you run. The pain and confusion penetrates deep. So deep, sometimes the bisexual women result to in keeping their sexuality to themselves. Some lesbians say bisexuality is a preference, where they assume a bisexual woman will switch between a male or female sexual partner just from the angle of bed they woke up from, say choosing pastries over croissants for example; you can eat any just because you can. Or choose not to depending on how high or low you go on the diet totem pole. It is much complicated than that.



The bisexual woman. She is your everyday professional woman, your wife, sister, mother, nun, name it. The nun is obviously out of question here but we will never know what happens in the monasteries now will we? And hell no don’t you dare call that blasphemy. There are far much worse blasphemous acts going on in Kenya and just because I have mentioned the nun name doesn’t mean I will burn in the hell’s hot furnace. Or maybe I will, tell the devil to preserve a seat for me once you get there. She is married by a six foot tall man with a six inch between his legs (the six inch is a myth by the way, the one between the legs i.e), she is a single mum, she is young, she is old, she is your every day kind of woman. She seems to have it all. It is said that we are all innately bisexual, it’s whether we act on it or not that matters.


There is simultaneous bisexuality where an individual can have separate relations with at least one man and one woman during the same period of time, and serial or sequential bisexuality  where an individual can have sex with just men or just women over a period of time, and just the other sex over another period of time.


This glaring reality doesn’t easily gel with our medulla oblongata. Maybe it is insecurity, low self esteem, envy or just some condition with the said medulla oblongata.  We don’t imagine engaging in long term relationships with these women. Have we even bothered asking them? Maybe they don’t want a relationship with us too. We are so prejudiced and biased with our thoughts because we feel bisexuality does not fall in our typical sexuality. You are either lesbian or straight, right? You.Are.Fucking.Wrong. And it is time the lesbians of this world accepted this and moved on.


Bisexuality is not confusion. It is not a phase. It is not an adventure. Bisexual women are not promiscuous. They are not in a transition to some lesbian or straighthood destination, these are women erotically attracted to both sexes. It is a sexuality,  just like we are lesbians. Accept this, or it is entirely your problem.

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Bisexual women are underrepresented and hence they will blend in the lesbian community because they feel this is closer home. But they find us in our stereotypical cocoons that we are not willing to come out of. These women start questioning themselves because we have made it clear to them that they don’t belong in our world, they should fully take the plunge. This, coming from us is the greatest of all oppression. All these fallacies surrounding bisexual women are entirely superficial.  We condemn these women through a fault that is not their own. We are a minority group, yet we shun them away. What we share is not what we might want, but we do share it. We are survivors of each other. We are the minorities and we should hang in there together. You don’t have to wait until you are a human right activist to embrace your bisexual girlfriends, you don’t have to wait until you are a shrink, because my dear lesbian friend, these are spirits you will never exorcise.

Go yea bisexual sisters, I am rooting for you