About Audrey Mbugua and some mis-informed Kenyans on Twitter.

Some Kenyans on Twitter (#kots) will hurl abuses at people they don’t know because they are richer than them, more beautiful, handsome, drive nice cars, live in good neighborhoods, and especially because they are women.

These personalities have self-defeating feelings of inadequacy, inferiority issues and live in severe state of depression, and the blame-it-on-somebody-else-syndrome acquires them some sort of short-lived fame, then their gold-fish memory will find some other person to release this negative energy to. And the vicious circle continues.

That is neither here nor there. I don’t pay any attention to bored people. The boredom in my life is a task by itself.   

Until the matter in hand is that one that hits closer home; then all alarms in my head goes off.

Yesterday was what the media refers to as ‘the drama in court day’. First of all, I need a better explanation of the word drama because I fail to understand how you can put the name Audrey Mbugua and drama in the same sentence.

You see, Audrey Mbugua is a transgender woman who had a sex change, from male to female. She has taken the Kenya National Examination Council to court because they have refused to change her earlier name as a male, Andrew, to Audrey-her now female name, in her school certificates.

And that is what brought the social media and local TV stations into a standstill. Gender and name change.

Two things I have a right to do if I so wished because it is my fucking body and name! Now where is the drama in that?

Lah-Fucking-Duh! You cannot even blow your nose in this country without batting an eyelid. Apparently, citizens of zero importance in your life have taken it upon themselves to teach you which angle to use while sleeping in your own freaking bed. You are not Kenyan enough if you don’t drive a fast Subaru.

I saw Audrey being interviewed some time back about her sex change, gender identity disorders and being a transgender woman. She articulated the issues so well and I realized that the public has a lot to learn when it comes to understanding issues relating to transgender people.

She is a beautiful woman with a beautiful personality. I liked her so much when I saw her on TV.

Many people, out of sheer ignorance associate transgender individuals with homosexuality, which are two different entities. Changing her sex to that of a female does not make Audrey a lesbian, nor does it make her gay. It is a sex change, period. Who she sleeps with or whether she has male/female genitalia is none of your business.

Having people ask how she have sex makes my head want to pop. I mean, what does it have to do with the air you breathe?

There are some sensitive matters and then some. Just put yourself in Audrey’s shoes for one minute. I dare you to walk in them just for a day.

It is a heroic effort being on national television discussing issues that are considered ‘un- African’. She is a human activist and she is educating people that look, I don’t care how many cameras you zoom in my face but I gotta say what I gotta say!

Imagine the hassles you grow through in a government office trying to acquire one document. Now multiply that in ten folds. Pressing people day in day out to align your birth documents because just like the rest of us, you want to rightfully gain employment.

Imagine sitting at home jobless with your school papers because some laws treat you like a second class citizen and you don’t ‘exist’ anywhere in their set of ‘employable’ citizens.

Words can be thrown in casually, bandied out easily, but give it a thought on the depth they are felt with by her and others who are facing the same predicament. Especially when it is something they have absolute no control over.

Kids born with both male and female reproductive organs are never discussed in the society. Most parents will decide which gender to give the kid, dress him/her as such and the poor kid is left at the mercies of this crude world. How the kid discovers that he/she is different from the rest of us is mostly upon them and their God.

But Audrey is out here, trying to give a voice to the many in our midst, and the best some Neanderthals can do is call her names. Maybe she won’t show it because she has developed a cold ear but in the end, it is unfair and wrong. People need to think twice before rudely dismissing off others.

audrey-mbugua 2
Audrey Mbugua is my hero. She is fighting for her rights because she is a Kenyan citizen, rights many of us wouldn’t dare fight for because we have been gagged by society and corridors of power. Rights she rightfully deserves but which she is forced to work up a sweat to get.  She really is a brave young woman.

I sincerely hope that this state can be empathetic to the Transgender community. This state needs to protect their rights and freedom.

As a people, we are all looking for love. I genuinely pray that we find it and learn how to return it to other people. Specifically to people like Audrey Mbugua.


Sometimes I Wish….

Nicely done poem from a feminist friend of mine 🙂


Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a feminist

Because feminists are few

And there is rarely comfort in numbers

If all the feminists you know are two

But then when someone speaks up

For a non-feminists rights

I realize that feminists are many

We just don’t want to be identified

By every Jill, Jane and Sally.

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a feminist

Because right and wrong would be less complex.

I could sit through a movie

And not hear all the sexist, ageist, racist slurs

And go home and sleep-

And not feel like a part of me died inside the cinema hall.

I could be-like everyone else.

But then I realize that everyone else

Wishes that someone else

Had the courage to speak up

Or walk out

Of an ageist, sexist, racist movie

And make everyone present

Not leave a piece of their humanity behind.

Sometimes I wish I…

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Self Identity

Hey Kitties 😀

What do you have going for you?

This may lie in things like religious beliefs, a person or calling you would die for, your way of life etc.
Take me for instance, I love and dream women like my life depend on it. I am fond of pizzas, chocolate …and on and on the list goes. If you are a healthy freak, maybe what you have going on for you is your ability to live on steamed vegetables and carrots every single day of the year. Living permanently on the grocery section of the supermarket is what tickle your fancy.

Necessary side note: I would rather eat nothing than live on steamed vegetables; I’d rather eat an ant hill.

There has to be a thing you identify with so clearly. Something that makes people aah and ooh at you. Here comes Jane and her runaway mouth! a statement I use on one of my co-worker. She never stops talking that woman.

I had a conversation with a friend recently and seeing lust is my first name, we were talking matters sex. I will call the said friend Ed. As in Edward, I keep explaining things because you might think I am talking about a friend with erectile problems:

Me: Which day of the week is it? (Sometimes I even forget my name)
Ed: Friday, why?
Me: Eer, how is your girlfriend?
Ed: (grinning), whimsical as usual.
Me: You mean you guys are still feeding each other pickled onions during sex?
Ed: Hell yeah! Yesterday she burned my knob with a candle.
Me: eeer so your eeerr is half way burned now, can I see?
Ed: (unzipping his pants)
Me: (panicking) Stoop Ed! I am kidding! I don’t want to see that creature!
Ed: (grinning, again) but it is not a creature, damnit! Why can’t you say PENIS and move on!
Me: But why do you do those things during sex, what if she falls asleep on top of you and burns your entire manhood?
Ed: But I like it! Did I tell you about the day I almost bite off one of her nipples?
Me: (throwing my eyes to heaven), can we talk about something else?

After he had successfully scared the lust out of me, I realized that maybe the two individuals lived for kinky sex. Maybe that is what keeps them going.

Evaluating my here and now, past or present, my brain goes into a host of locations. I have identified areas in life I am not good at and vice versa, some things I can do in my sleep while some, I do trial and error until I master them. Like math for example. I have to repeat one equation a thousand times to get it right.

Talking of math, there is a fourteen y.o kid I saw recently getting interviewed; he is doing a Master’s Degree Yo! He fancies Quantum Physics and such like stuff.

I mean, people on this earth can make you feel inadequate.

It is a world full of ghouls and knaves and this is when self-identity becomes your best companion. Identifying what you are good at and doing it good.

As a kid when mother dressed me in a dress I didn’t fancy, I used to pour water all over myself and even though she would give me a good beating, I wouldn’t go to church or wherever with a dress I considered ugly. Poor mother, I always kept her on her toes. I was a stubborn kid maybe but that is what got me through my childhood days. I identified with my stubbornness.

People’s idealistic goals about you don’t matter.

Live for your cause and enjoy the things that give meaning to your life.

... aand watch movies

… aand watch movies

How I Cured My Anxiety

Awesome tips. Thank you!



UPDATE: As of July 2013, this article is the #1 search result on Google for “how to cure anxiety.” In this post, you will learn about the key breakthrough I had that freed me from my mental prison. More than anything else, this change in how I viewed the world gave me my life back. It’s helped tens of thousands of readers, and I hope it can help you as well.

If you’re interested in reading my short memoir, which includes my weekly schedule and every technique that helped cure my anxiety, click here.

Now… on with the post!

# # #

For a long time, I thought I was going crazy. I’d convinced myself that something horribly wrong was about to happen. I thought I would be stabbed, shot, or arrested every time I left my apartment. I was sure that there was an impending disaster that would melt the…

View original post 2,859 more words

Homosexuality: It’s legalization in Kenya, then what?

South Africa, Mali, Congo, Cape Verde, Gabon et al. These African countries have something in common. Homosexuality is legal or decriminalized.

I envy them.

I wish we could borrow their constitutions; the clause on homosexuality would look really good on us. We, the descendants of Moses who went against imposed standards of behavior and gave life to the big elephant in the room, that one of homosexuality.

People in my family don’t talk about it yet it lives right there in the living room together with its extended family.

Assuming the sun sets and rises on a day that will see Kenya legalize homosexuality. That could be anything from tomorrow or the next three hundred decades, but I can only hope it will happen within my allocated human threshold. Gay weddings are beautiful.

I equate homosexuality to the old cliché phrase of “facing reality”.

“Reality is nothing but the sum of all awareness”.

It is many things to the stereotypical society but one thing I know for a fact is that it is going nowhere. If anything, it can only go higher. It is not contagious no. I guess we were just left behind when every kid went to Sunday school. But hey, a lot of fun happens behind the scenes. Ask our gay brothers. 

How can our society program its mind to the awareness of learning to accept two adults of the same sex living together permanently without prejudice and half baked facts, Without making assumptions that we will “rub it” on their kids?  

It is upsetting to hear and read news after news of corrective lesbian rape, murder and discrimination to the LGBTI community. I have seen an extremely ignorant society growing up where people with a disease as manageable as HIV/AIDs are treated so unfairly it is heartbreaking.

It is this same society that attack homosexuals on social media day in day out. People have made it their responsibility to teach us how to live “normal” lives. They delight in hurting our feelings to satisfy their egos. A piece of cloth as tiny as a tie for example will make people become too dramatic and to fit in and relate to them, we are made to believe in the heterosexual doctrine. Never mind that many of these preachers are closet homosexuals.  


How possible is it for this society to live with us like brothers and sisters? Are we part of their greater whole? How long until they make our existence possible? How many landlords out there will order us to evacuate their buildings because we look and dress weird? The hate can kill us, just as effectively as by bombs.

With all these in mind, a reader asked me a very important question. I quote, “if being a dyke was made legal in Kenya-what would happen? How fast would we crawl out of the woodwork?”

Side note: She is gay, beautiful, famous, and married. Sorry girls.

Confidence comes not from thin air, but from experiences in which we succeed. Consistent success in small and large matters creates a new confidence in us. We start by hugging our partners publicly, then we hold hands and eventually we get to kissing them openly.

Once we get the pass, will it be a case of getting freedom and not knowing what to do with it? What of all the work our LGBTI activists have done; the thousands of articles and forums created in our plea.

There will be no more asylums, you will do whatever you had desired to do in SA with your partner right here in Kenya, in front of your folks and clansmen.

So how long will it take before you proudly parade your partner in a wedding? Are you ready to become an instant celebrity and give the media a field day?

Personally, I am so accustomed to being a hermit so much so, that even when the victory comes, I will still be in the battlefield singing war songs. I am not suggesting that we should all chicken out from publicly stating our sexual orientation to all Dick and Harry; it is just that for me, it may take years.

Our immediate environments for instance has made it possible for some to come out to family and friends, while for others, sobibor is a place we aren’t planning to escape soon. Not because we hate the freedom that comes with being openly gay, but for me, it safer to live in the closet rather than give father an early death. I would never forgive myself. He is everything I have and all things considered, it is a sacrifice worth making.

What about you, if the constitution allowed homosexuality today, would you publicly marry your partner? Or to quote her again, how long before you come out of the woodwork?


Snapbacks and tattoos……and lesbians

Hey tits owners 😀


The hiatus is over. I missed you guys and I missed this three months blog baby of mine. Sorry for replying your many emails this late (all fifty of them). Three actually, sigh.

Where I was you ask? Well, I would have loved to say I went to Siberia and discovered salt mining is the ultimate hobby to richness or I was tanning my thighs in a beach somewhere in Jamaica, sipping cold margaritas, poking my kindle and sending nudes on my Samsung Galaxy 4.

Thing is, I don’t own a kindle or the aforementioned phone. And my thighs are black as coal, au naturel. But I really fantasize about the said gadgets and I keep wondering which person in the family pedigree wronged the sweet Messiah so much because money and I have never seen eye to eye. Not because we hate each other but because I have never known where to get it. You will notice that I have used the word because in this paragraph over four times, the idea is to piss off the grammarnazis, I have one hundred problems and writing proper English is not one of them.


Back to my sabbatical. Apart from my imaginary holiday, I was meditating. Yeah, I can totally walk on water now.

I am at a point in life where I feel I need a turning point. Like the Otonglo kid, my hand yearns for the President’s handshake. I am bored to death by everything in my life. People get stuck and bored sometimes in their life, they keep it to themselves and I bitch about it.


Maybe I should sell my ovaries, or start selling drugs, or make my womb useful and try surrogacy, or sleep with my boss, or buy a gun and start killing every moving object standing in my way to richness. Which of these sounds less criminal?

I think selling my ovaries is the best choice considering the punishment of painful periods and the one hundred pimples I get on my face during this cycle, one for every Maumau warrior who died fighting for Kenya independence. There is a direct link between my menstrual cycle and the grave. They are the worst four days of my life. Imagine having to visit the Niagara falls every four days of the month in your life. I am sure the real Niagara falls are beautiful, but I am not so much an outdoor person so no I hate the frequent visits. The cramps make me cry and gnash my teeth in agony and they are the only days in my life I keep wishing I was a man. How sad.

Being a man that is.

I would never want to be a man in my life even if the human race depended on it, never.

Does that make me a sexist? Or what is the word? I can’t remember but I am sure the people who work under the men empowerment department can always leave a comment and educate me, and call me names while at it.

Some people will call this depression with a capital D and they will say I have a mental illness and I am a total nutter. They will suggest that people better avoid me and talk to me slowly because anytime I might start throwing flying objects at them. But as I have said earlier, everyone get depression sometimes in their life, it is part of being alive.


People get depressed about not having enough money and that is what I am depressed about. Top-of-the-range, no-expense-spared depression. I might come out as very entertaining talking about it but my life right now seems like the big party where my ass was not invited.

A whole depression package of a life with no menu or map.

Money is not everything or so I hear. Whisper that to me again when I am sipping Chardonnay inside a chocolate bath tub and then maybe we can have that conversation.

Relax people, I will snap out of it. Especially if all of you happen to give me your ATM cards, accompanied by their passwords of course.

What was the topic of this post again? Stares into space….

That reminds me that I owe you guys a post about lesbian sex, patience is a virtue.

Isn’t it?