Holy Shitballs! Homophobes!!!

Hey kittens 😀

There is this certain god fearing humanoid that sent me an email recently. Mr. Man wanted to know who gave birth to me because I am such a disgrace to the society. Sinful, wrath of God, lightening, Sodom and Gomorrah, just to name a few were some of the words used in that email. In case like me, English is not your first language and you need more clarification, I am talking about the homophobes. You know those peeps that hate the gay people oh so much they would chop off your balls and hang them in their study rooms? Yep.

Actually they would rather milk your balls dry and leave you to go to hell. Nothing says Satan faster than a homophobe on a suicidal mission.

Necessary side note: balls are those sensitive babies. Keep them under warm temperatures in this cold season. That is for the men wearing those teenie weenie shorts dimwit.

I must clarify here that I know all this stuff about balls because I have brothers, as in real life siblings of the male sex who teach me these stuff. Not like they let me touch them or anything. People in my family tree are creeps and we talk about all manner of stuff, like fapping, boobies and writing anonymous blogs. I would burn my wigs (all fifty of them) if I discovered that someone else in my family owns some anonymous blog though!

Coming to think of it, maybe that brother of mine who kill mosquitoes and skin them is a serial killer blogger. Or a Jehovah witness follower. Holy lamb! I prefer the latter. I wouldn’t mind his company in hell.

I preferred to answer Mr. Man here. Because I know he will be back and to answer all future others like him. Free internet will be the death of the cradle of mankind. Forget Viagra and Vagina tightening pills.

So here goes:

First things first yo Mr. Man, why were you reading this blog? What search words led you to a queer blog? I am totally amused because you can only find this blog if you are looking for adult content. Explain to me like a small child because, shouldn’t you be reciting your songs of Solomon?

Another necessary side note: my next post will be about lesbian sex. That content will be explicit, and that’s a cue to close this tab if you are a minor.

So if you are still with me Mr. Man, I have heard Sodom and Gomorrah and homosexual thunderstorms and lightening like a gazillion times. Be a little creative with your words next time you are attacking me. Use words like strap-on or double dongs. Those things aren’t cheap and who knows, maybe next time I am in an adult shop I might marry the male cashier and buy wedding rings instead.

Thirdly, you mentioned that I just hate men in general and given a chance you would show me what a real man is made of. Now this is where you totally got my attention. What is the meaning of that statement exactly? No, don’t you dare reply. Because I know without a single shade of doubt you are a rapist or something worse.  

Do you know how many lesbians are raped day in day out because of fucktards like you who have childhood issues and are for lack of a better place, the right permanent hell occupants? Dude, Satan would reject your ass.

I don’t owe you any explanation but guess what? Almost all my close friends are men. As in, people with penis between their legs. Mature responsible dudes. Men are cool.

Soft boobies cool.

Seriously, I would bang my head on the floor to death if I was to live one day with a world full of women.

You guise, women are awesome. Just try handling a thousand of them at the same time. You will die man. Ask the doctors, some things in life work perfectly under the right dosage.

Men do good stuff to me, except my woman anatomy regions. I feel nothing there. Nada. Zero. Naetsing! You get it Mr. Man? It is the sole reason I am a lesbian dude. Because when it is going down, it goes down with ‘em girls. And best believe, they are so good at it. I am not here to explain to you what goes where or who sleeps where. The least you know the better.  

So Mr. Man, I hope you read this, once you do, go climb the Everest alone and dislocate all your limbs while at it because trust me, next time it will be awful. I mean coming after your ass with vengeance together with an army of angry lesbians. Yep. That is a threat.

image

from thejigglybits.com

The only thing you said that came close to being true is about me going to hell. Wait, aren’t we all?

I could go on and on. But I am tired and I have other better things to do tonight too (who said I have no life). Today I am celebrating my fifth President, Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta. That’s right. That also confirms one other thing; remember that post I made about Margaret Kenyatta? She is now the First Lady of Kenya bitches. No fucks
will be given tonight.

Contact me for a round of free drinks 😀

 

 

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5 thoughts on “Holy Shitballs! Homophobes!!!

  1. shirleydosz says:

    Why do men have to be so godamn rapesque…tsk tsk what it means to be a real man

    Like

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