A lesbian’s thought on the Kenya Presidential Candidates


Hey pussy mongers 🙂

So it’s clear none of the Kenya presidential candidates like the gay people


I guess it is only one candidate who has vaguely come close to pretending they knew we exist. I am sure most of them don’t read their Bibles but when it comes to matters homosexuality, they go all ham on us quoting Sodom and Gomorrah like it is some kind of rare slimming pill. Seriously, Moses, he of the 10 commandments would be very disappointed by these so called leaders. Every single one of them would score a cute F and maybe a measly E to that other one who I think is a bit connected to reality.  

But hey I am not extremely politically savvy and this is not a political blog, a religious blog, a hate blog or a campaign blog. So let us stick to things that are closer home, Shall we?

Right. So we all know that the Kenyan law does not recognize same sex marriages. That is under Article 45 (2) of the constitution. I will even quote that thingie because I know you have other important things do and no one likes reading the constitution anyway >> “Every adult has the right to marry a person of the opposite sex, based on the free consent of the parties”


Couldn’t they have written something clever like why I have been hitting the snooze button everyday for the last one decade?


Now it means every single one of us will have to save (and God knows we love drinking and smoking illegal stuff), relocate to a state in the U.S (and live in homeless shelters while at it because the air ticket was fucking expensive), put the ring on the frigging finger of our other better half and then we jet back in Kenya and depress our parents to death live happily ever after.



Can’t I just be allowed to play footsie in peace in this goddamn country! Now I will have to worry and keep worrying some more until the wrinkles show on my face because I cannot afford to do that bullshit. I am baffled.


Fuck you presidential candidates. Because now I will have to keep chanting solidarity forever on the streets of Nairobi begging for rights I own in the first place. I will have to pretend it was a slip of the hand every time I am caught holding my partner’s hand in public. I will have to pretend it is okay every time a gay person is outed or given a thorough beating in public while it gives me nightmares at night.



I thought we have suffered for so long and maybe this time there would be a president who can give a shit fuck about the fact that if you narrow it all down, gay people are citizens with equal rights. But they are all blinded by the beauty

of power and ten limos creating traffic everywhere they show their sorry faces.

Our brains process every evil word you call us. So if I were you I would bookmark this page. Because I pray that you will live long enough to come back to it and realize that your bullshit of words never shut any door for me. I will own the scars with pride, chant on the streets with placards but eventually I will not save that money to go wed my partner anywhere else but right here in Kenya.

I will buy that air ticket to take her and our kids to Disneyland instead.






2 thoughts on “A lesbian’s thought on the Kenya Presidential Candidates

  1. Lavy says:

    I will read, read and read on… Till the cows come home lol. You make me look foward to my beautiful lesbian days…


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